Day 70 D- Day

Last night was aggravating enough.  Them telling me at the lock that I had to wait til morning.  So I woke up at 8 or 9, and got to the lock.  The doors were closed and they kept them closed.  I killed time hanging out with goats and a stray dog for too long.  For real, I literally sat there on rocks interacting with goats and stray dogs to kill time... sober.

 A new boat came in which meant the doors might open.  They didn't.  

They harbored and turned off the engine, which was bad.  Oh, and it is 25km winds today!

Soni paddled around the lock to where, on the map it looked easy to portage.  It wasn't.  I gave up and went BACK to the other side, 2km.  And decided to ask the boat that was harbored for help.

They phoned the lock master, and the lock master said I am not allowed to go through the lock, or be on the canal.  If I want to go to the Black Sea, I must go to the delta, which wasn't happening...300 km away..

So I yelled curse words and yelled out of frustration.  They even called the general of the lock in Constana.  They said NOPE!

I told them virbatum.. "I'll do it anyway."

So I paddled back around the other side,put my stuff in my backpack, and climbed a steep hill, over boulders, through thorns, dragged and pulled with all my might my kayak to the top of hill to a farm.  

At the farm?  A farmer.  No English.

So I pointed where I was going..... and just outright left with no permission.

I got to the end of a long dirt road, dragging my boat with a rope, which is insanely difficult, and what do I find?  A barbed with fence and gate!

So I thought like I was meant to do this journey.  I threw my bag over the fence, my paddle under the fence, my boat???.... Over the barbed wire fence with no regard for others property, including my own.  Then, I carefully jumped the gate and hopped down 6ft with grace and ease.

Next?  Walk the kayak with backpack down highway 1km. Done

Next?  Take kayak carefully down steep cliff, and dont disturb the fishermen too much.  Done

Next?  Use helping fishermen to put kayak in canal.  Done

NEXT?  Kayak.

I paddle 15 km in high intensity winds before the police stopped me.

I argued again with the cop with no communication between either of us. He was angry as hell, I was was even more angry as hell.

  So I got out of my boat and argued again face to face.  HE SPOKE NO ENGLISH.  So this was the end I thought.

I sat and ate my food while the cop watched.  Packed my bag, pulled kayak up to the road, then, once again, dragged my kayak down a long lonesome road.  This time, the cop followed me the whole time, and it was 95 degrees with no cloud!  Fun stuff, it gets better.

I continued with the mindset, I'll drag this motherfuxker all the way 45km to the sea!  Nope.

Dragging a boat that heavy, that far is a Herculean feat.  I was dead after 1 1/2 hours.

I dropped the boat in a bush, grabbed the rest of my belongings, and left. Thinking this was the last time I would see my boat.

As I walked down the road, at one point, I actually dropped to my knees uncontrollably to cry.  I tried to hold back my tears but started weeping instead.  This was too much.  To be so close and to be told what to do after all I've been through.  I don't know how to put my feelings in words, but I just felt helpless.  I was walking down an empty road so far from where I wanted to be, and with no way to get there.  I pulled myself together thinking, " all I need is a miracle"

So I walked further, and again, as I walked, reflected on my journey, and just, cried.

Eventually I stopped when I saw people, but it took a while.

I asked for help in Romanian and was greeted by violent dogs and a violent owner, I kept walking.  All with the cop following me.

I emptied my bag of my champagne, vodka, and honey, as they together weighed 15lbs.  This hurt too, as you can imagine.

I got to some Fishermen, who spoke english.  They were actually American workers in Norfolk, VA for a shipping company. I asked about trains and buses to the sea, or what to even do.  They said, "wait til dark, then sneak in the left side of the river, then dont stop til you get there."

What a Tom Cruise type of mission.

So after a beer, a refill on water, a confusing taxi ride where the cop followed us, lost us, found us, lost us again and i ducked down at a light to hide from cops....... and we lost them again.., gallons of sweat poured and dried into my shirt and shorts, I sit here with 1 hour til go time.

The rest is untold.

km 45 on the Black Danube Canal

oh yes, I sit here watching sparrows do their cool bird dance.  and there are seriously way too many goats and sheep around here!

The Last Push: True Shit
I thought I would wait, "no matter what" until the sun disappeared to jump in my kayak and sneak around the police.  Things never go as planned.

The daylight was just before gone, and I lied in the bushes hiding from any possible scope of binocular to catch my blue shirt peaking out.  I had to move across the river away from the goats, and the sheperd and his father pushed me out on my kayak.  I shared what little vodka I had with the father.  They had never seen an American before, and were amazingly humble and calm.

I went across river, and lied there for another hour.  Sipping on vodka to kill time.

The cop drove by, it wasn't dark yet.  He was looking for me.  

But my boat was green in color and hidden in tall grass, so I stayed low.

 I thought if he is going upstream, then I can go downstream, and this was my only chance to know where he was without him knowing where I was.  So I quickly got in my boat and paddled as fast as I ever have in my life, some might call it, "a dash", to freedom.  I hugged the tall grass on the left bank.  It was 5 kilometer before the bridge, the middle of town, and I had no idea what was next.  I thought if I could sneak past the bridge unseen, I could make it to the Black Sea, in the dark of the night.

I was already insanely exhausted, and what would come later was unbeknown.

Peaking over my shoulder every 30 seconds, looking for headlights on the dirt road, I didn't stop paddling hard for 1 hour.

I was free.

Reaching the dark of the wilderness, away from any towns, and under the blessings of the stars, I gasped for air.... and vodka.

With a little water as well, I had one thought now, "Dont stop paddling, it does not matter how tired you are, this is your last and only chance.  If you stop for rest, the morning will come, and the police will see you and catch you."...."If you make it to Constanta before sunrise you will be free."

The canal closes its doors at 8pm.  But there are still a few stray barges roaming the eerie evening.

I paddled and bowed my head in utter exhausted every 5 minutes.  Once earlier today I could paddle for 2 hours with no break.  And now, it is far out of the parameters of reality.  I've never felt such fatigue linger for so long.

I had spouts of dopamine with music from Christo Martin's playlist on spotify.  I would get dopamine from a swig of vodka.  

But it was clear, the absolute intensity of what I was doing could not be upheld by anything but my mind, and even that felt like not enough.

Eventually, right about the time the moon snuck over the tops of the trees, the walls of the canal became a monstrous tunnel of mountains and cement.  150ft cliffs, and at the bottom, containing the water and myself, a 15ft high concrete wall, with no ladders or escape.  I was trapped in my boat, with 20km still to go.

This would break any man, and it did for just a moment.  My thought was, "I LITERALLY HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO CARRY ON, AND NOT PASS OUT"  Which was a real threat.

So, as I came around the final bend of my journey, I could see the lights of the city, a twinkle, 10km away.  It never seemed so far.

Going in and out of deleriousness, I continued looking at my map, thinking this would give me a boost, but it only made it worse.  It seemed further than ever, and the closest I've ever been at the same time.

So I kept going.  And going.  And going.  Like the Energizer Bunny.

I continued to look for ladders to escape, and maybe just walk in, but to no avail.

The light became large, and extremely disorienting.  I couldnt tell what was real,  shadow, reflection, or comfort.

I went to the right side.  There were ladders.  But they were ALL broken.  I went to the left.  Only 1 ladder.  At the top of the ladder?  4 aggressive barking stray dogs.....  Not an option.

I went back to the right, up and down the canal searching.  Nothing.  I was trapped at my destination.

I decided, i have to try to enter the lock, or get close, to find an escape.  I thought I would have to call for a rescue, which would put me in jail... and maybe on the news...;)

Not an option.  I paddled very close to the lock.  And all i could think was, because of my delirium, this is a video game, the final level, you must escape, but to escape, you need to be brave.

I paddled close, and found another broken ladder, but with 2 big ninja moves, i could climb to safety.

I tied my rope to my belt.  Put my cell phone and wallet in my pocket, put my paddle under a strap, and leaped and grabbed a bar.
From there was 2 moves. Get out, and then do a strong pull up and jump and grab to the next bar, all in one move.  That was one move.
The second was to hang on, dont fall, and get my feet on the bar under that, and then pull my self up with my hands with no bar, but holding on to the smooth round concrete wall.
Okay, so it was like 10 moves, but it felt like 2.

I nailed it.

I looked down, and I realized I'd have to leave everything in my boat.  My tent, hammock, Go Pro, external charger, regular charger, champagne, tuna, everything.  Even my paddle that was a gift from John. All gone.

I took a deep breath and started walking away.  At the security gate I was greeted by 7 aggressive dogs.  It wouldn't end there.

I was followed and barked at for 20 minutes.  Found a gas station, a cab, and looked for sleep.

I went to 5 or 7 hotels, everything was booked, friday morning, 5 am.  Sun rising, my eyes falling, and it's cold and windy.  I have no jacket, no blanket, and no body cares about what I did or where I'm going.  

There was a part of me that wanted to scream my story to the hotel clerks.... "I have money, I just kayaked here from Germany!"......... BUT it wouldnt matter.... BECAUSE... I looked like a fuckin homeless man.... and because I had no sleep, I was delerious...     and...was ACTING....         like a homeless man.

I don't want sympathy now, but then, I did.

I found a cab to take me to Vama Veche.  No hotels here either.

I found a hammock at 8 am, and had people clambering around for 4 hours of rest.  My body was so strung out that it couldnt relax.  But it was over.  I made it.  I thought there would be tears, or jubilation, but no.  Just a sense of exhaustion, and pride.

I woke up, walked away, and found myself present with a beautiful beach with lovely smiles 360 degrees.

Day 69 End of Dabube, Beginning of the Canal of Death

They say it's always most difficult at the end.  This is starting to become so.  The heat never got to me, but the idiots that work the lock and dam did. 

After a long day of paddling and stopping for food and water, I said farewell to The Danube and hello to the canal.  Or so I thought. 

I followed a barge into the lock.  Got ready to start going down, and, they actually turned the button.  But an annoying ladies voice came over an intercom, yelling in a rude tone in Romanian.  I was sure when I heard it was about something I did.  A bunch of morons with no college degree, like myself, decide to let out the days hardships on me.  I decided to yell back in English as many things as I felt necessary to sleep well tonight.  You can imagine some of the words, now that I'm a sailor.  I felt like I won the arguement, which was about how "it was too late to come through the lock"  and I went back to Cernavoda.

I was greeted by a very angry dog, so I went to a different place.  There ibwaljed through the mud in Crocs, then barefoot to a cheap motel.

The maintenance guy sprayed off my shoes in front of everyone, then continued to spray my feel.  It was humbling, not embarrassing.

I got food at an overrated restaurant and I'm going to try to reach the Black Sea tomorrow before dark.  I'll have to paddle fast and wake up early.

km 0
km 63 of the Black Danube Canal

Day 67 and 68 Finally leaving

We, I mean I, decided to stay an extra day again.  That makes friday saturday sunday monday and Tuesday hanging out at Wakeboard Romania, or as I call it, "The Island in the Sky" 

It's easy to stay somewhere where you fit in and are appreciated.

Monday I left after a few fairwells, but then 2 hours later the wakeboard people had another island they were going to visit, and yelled across the river for me to join.  This was a very good idea.  This place was the inspiration to their island.  Little bungalows, a kitchen, shower, and an old man with an interesting take on life leading the charge.

I stayed there, ate the food the needed me to try.  I helped pick out small fish from the net, and was served extremely good palinca.

The wakeboard people decided I should stay another night. 

We went back to the island and on the way took turns wakeboarding.  I'm not a boarder, so I never gave it a go.  It was more fun hanging in the boat and watching people that were actually good do cool tricks.  Plus I was palinca drinkin.

We got back, and well, we drank more palinca and hung out by the fire.

Today I woke up early.  Kresta took me back to my kayak, where the family was hanging out.  They again insisted I eat and drink all day.  So I did.  That, and tried fishing.  I hung out with Alexandra and her aunt and relatives.  She has an amazing voice and is absolutely stunningly beautiful.  We all had a good time trying to figure out if I am crazy or not, and then I paddled off into the sunset. 

The landscape here is mesmerizing.  It's like a hilly delta.  And even at sea level I can still see distances far away.  Theres farms and scattered trees, and lots of cows and horses.

Day 65 and 66. WAKE BOARD ROMANIA

I decided to go to bed after I got in a verbal misunderstanding pertaining to someone, unknown, taking my kayak for a joy ride.  Everyone here says people are honest and dont touch each others things.  This is okay, other than I spent all morning cleaning water and mud out of the boat.

Today I met some great people.  I hung out with this nice couple from Bucharest and we basically just ran around all day listening to music and talking and relaxing and drinking a few bottles of wine. 

I decided not to sleep this night.  I was kind of feeling like I wanted to marry Merona, the girl I was hanging out with all day.  We had a fun time together. I spent the night hanging with some good folks. And relaxing by the fire.  I stayed awake until the afternoon when I got some rest in a hammock under a cool tree.

I woke back up, had dinner, and went back to bed.

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I had an amazing time here and definitely coming back.  I spent my time singing country songs, dancing, swimming, and learning about each other, and people wont shut up about Trump.  So just tell them its rude to ask political questions to strangers now.

I'll take my time getting to the Black Sea.

Day 64 Perfect weather and party island oasis

Today went like this.  Wake up tired from bad sleep.  Packed up and went.  Felt exhausted all day.  Still went 67km.  Watched the sun go down thinking this would be my last night.  Stopped at a party island thing. Skate ramp, trampoline, wake boarding, rave music, tent sleeping, bar, food, showers, free.  Met some folks.  Breaking to stretch and swim was a good idea.  Self reflection starts with communication.  Understanding ego and self worth are important.   Talk to yourself with confidence and honesty.  And honestly, learning to appreciate things can be difficult if you dont stop to appreciate them.


Now there is rave music with a big fire and hippie people running around.
km 370

Day 63 : Romania Holiday cut short but heavy winds

They say a cow can be tipped over and paralyzed for hours.  Some have tried this, and some have seen the eye of the protecting bull, grabbed the bull by the horns, jumped on it's back with no saddle, and rode that baby all the way to Kansas to sell it for auction for more than it's worth, just because of the story... everybody loves a stolen bull at an auction.  Mostly because once a bull leave the state, it falls into another jurisdiction, making it a free bull to anyone tough enough to take the chance.

Some people take bulls and ride them to Kansas, other people, like me, find abandoned tents in the woods and take them down river.... then wait 4 days before using it just at the right time.  The right time?  Now.  Here on a beach with a campfire and a belly full of tuna and ramen... and maybe a little vodka, as the Russians might say. 

It's actually a terrible night to use this tent, on account of the wind factor,  which was the same factor that threw me to shore.  The same factor that dociled my dream of paddling 190km with no sleep, through the night, to the canal that would take me to the Black Sea. 

I feel like I've been a week away for 2 weeks.  And still a week away.  This river keeps, "Draggin' on", as the late Jonny Cash once lyricized.

But that doesn't docile me, cause I ain't no fossil, yet!

I might be dumb, but I ain't stupid.  I'm living good right now.

Apparently today is a Romanian holiday, which is why I'm sleeping on the Bulgarian side, illegally.

The grocery store was packed with hungry, slow poking, G-E-D havin', cant decide which way I'm goin' getters!  They got these carts, no baskets( in case you only need 5 things like me), and the carts take up precious real estate just like the hairy eyebrow droolin' holiday havers do!... And these carts cost 50 lei, which is a simple coin, which I had!  But I didn't pass much math class so I could figure out how to use the cart!  Guess I'm gonna get me a degree!

So I walk in thinkin'," I'll figure it out or carry things in my shirt"  Cause I'm sick of asking all the folks if they speak the international language of English, and mostly too proud, and it was early, for me... 11am.

So I go in, and see a basket them employees use to stock the shelves..... so I steal one!

Not after I tossed a few peaches in the wrong place behind the employees back.

Off I went.  The only AmericaN AND the only customer with a basket, not a cart!

The. Place. Was. Busy.  And I'm used to gettin first dibs from the trash for free at night sorta guy, so this wasn't my type of rodeo, although there were a lot of slow moving cows.  Not fat people, just... slow moving.

I zipped around looking for odd things like zip lock bags, couldn't find em... champagne.... couldnt read the bottle.. protein powder... doesn't exist.  So I went to the basics I've been doing all 2 months at the store.

2 hand fills of granola bars.
4 tuna
1 sausage
2 gallons water
2 candy bars
1 Cracker ... box... not 1 cracker
and that's it!

I went to THE MOST DEVISTATING PART OF MY DAY.  THE CHECKOUT LINE:

People do NOT mess around in the checkout line.  This is more like a "you better check the F outta my way line... or I'm gonna check you over that line..." sorta checkout line.  And remember, it's a holiday, a day to relax.

I'm self aware and lucky enough to identify employees and their eyes.  I observed one employee who sees the mayhem building up.  She talks to another employee, which to me meant "they are opening a new line!"

I got out of line. followed her to the end, and everyone followed me.  So I was 2nd up.  Not bad. And I had like 10 things, pretty good.  One problem..............no cash.

This was bad.  Even though there was a card swipe machine, Romania is still old school and slow when it comes to plastic cash.

I get up to the plate and start with a killer line, "ce faci" which means "how are you".. in Romanian.  She doesn't smile or answer.  I ask if she speaks English and she looks up with 2 lemons in her hand and asks me a question in Romanian.  I say I dont know, forget it, I'll just put them back, dont worry.  Every one in line all of a sudden looks at me with that look like you make when someone isn't paying attention at a green light.... like "omg here we go"  and I know it too.  The people behind me point to a scale.  So I get out of line, go weigh the items and repeat the numbers, this goes on to more confusion.  SO, I say forget it!  The guy behind me in line explains some stupid shit about these stupid lemons, and i put them in my bag. 

Comes time to pay.  Uh oh.

I put my card in..... the wrong way... the lady makes a hussy noise like a baby, rips out the card, reinserts it, and then we wait.... the moment of truth.  I'm so close to leaving with my granola bars and water.  Everyone in line is breathing hot air from hell on me...

The card declines.  I say, okay, I'm just going to go to this atm, ring up these other people, and I'll get back in line.

So I leave the line, make a b line to the atm.  Pull out some money.  And when I come back, I'm expecting the cashier to be taking care of the others, she's not, and everyone is staring at me.  I give her 7 more dollars, say "give it to charity".. I dont wait for the change. and I leave like detention just got out.

I'm sweating right now as I write this.  But I had to tell my story for others to know.  It's not just paddling out here, its dealing with retired hockey players at the grocery store.  

Everyone is checking each other, trying to get their hands on some diapers and laundry detergent, and exotic cheese.

This is why I eat from the dumpster, in case anyone wants to know.

The rest of the day was peaceful, partly cloudy, no meatballs, and calm waters with a beautiful sunset.  Society is not the problem, the problem is that society separated itself from nature, and now it's just confused, not problematic.

Get into nature, hug a tree, preferably one not covered in ants, and breath that good ass prana.

Ain't nothing like a fresh breath of summer time river air.

You think them fishermen got high blood pressure?  I dont think so.

km 435?
not too long to go, maybe 4 days?  hopefully 3!

Day 62 meeting local important people

Where did I wake up?  Some place that starts with a Z.  The whole town is run by InterAgro, by one man, and the town loves him.  He owns like half of Romania.  And is apparently a good guy.

Anyway.  Went to the store to get supplies where everyone apparently forgot to frickin move.  I was in 3 traffic jams in 3 mintutes.  I am still unbelievably shocked at the awareness of people.   It's a simply thing.  Be aware of what you are doing, while being aware of where your mass of molecules exists in accordance to other MASSES OF MOLECULES.

I was hurried a bit by the Captain of the Harbor and his driver, the chief of boarder patrol police.  They picked me up at the hotel and acted as my taxi this morning.  The hotel girl Anca made my day.  She was just nice looking and I thought of how pleasant it was to wake up to someone being nice to me.

Anywho.  once I left this town, I didn't get out of the boat until 6pm.  This was a 65km day.  And hot, and I've realized now it will be windy every day.  And the wind will be heading directly at me .  not to the left or right, but what you would call, a head wind.

I ate granola and soy sausage with bread all day.  I met another kayaker who was kind of annoying.  I told him I was going to stay in town because I'm sick of getting woke up by cows, goats, sheep, bore, chickens, people, storms, bugs, weird stuff, and I've been doing this for over 2 months.  He was a pompous idiot.  He had only been on the river 2 days and kept insisting he knew stuff I didn't.  It's funny when older people still have the attitude of a child.  He said we should paddle together and I said that I dont like people, which is not true, i just didn't like him.

So he paddled off as fast as he could to prove he was better, and then I took a break and took a swig of some palinka, because I dont know how to deal with stress sometimes.

After that I felt good and got into the town harbor.

I made my way to the hotel, which was 15 bucks.  And also quite nice.

I got dinner at the hotel restaurante and met the owner.  He told me about how he helped some mountain people get water to their home using a ram pump.  And how the mountain people slept on beds of hay, lavender, and sheep fur.  And how his family built the hotel we were in.

Nice town, but honestly I'm kind of sick of speaking English slowly.  And I don't have the time to learn another language FLUENTLY at the moment.  Hanks super market, I miss you.

I'm going try for 3 70km days. Need some sleep.  And if you pray, pray I don't get woke up by animals.... oh yeah, theres stray dogs everywhere and everyone is okay with it.

Km 490